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My Name is Deena Deluca. I imagine at some point my name may become Deena Amado if I ever fully transition. My first girl name was Kelly Amado and I went by the username of Kellykisskiss on yahoo as I thought it was cute. I am currently 44 years old and married. My wife learned of my secret in 2006 by finding my stash one day. I was at work and she was looking for garage sale items in our storage. I tried to convince her not to look, but she found my stash and was devastated. She is very old fashioned and in my opinion very sexually repressed. I tried to convince her that I was just reliving a moment from my younger days and that I was done with it. Things have never been quite right between us since.       

I have broken her trust on three occasions and she is terribly hurt and unhappy but will not, up to this point, leave the marriage. Although she has threatened too. I figure if I manage to hurt her one more time, it will be over. That is one reason I am here. To make contacts if I need to start my life over. My goal isn’t just to add a lot of friends, but truly make some life long friendships and get myself in shape.

A little more about me:

It all started with Rosie’s sandals. When I was around five or six there was a girl a year younger than me living next door. She had left her sandals outside and I swiped them and tried them on. I felt good to wear them, so I hid them in the bushes and would go out and wear them from time to time. About 11 or 12, my parents divorced and I found a wig in my mom’s closet. I tried it on and saw a girl looking back at me in the mirror. I then added her clip-on earrings, pantyhose, and boots. I was hooked. A short while later I found out my older brother cross- dressed too. I found his stash in the basement and from time to time, I would borrow his stuff. I still have no idea where he got his things. We never talked about it. I wanted to, and even gave him the chance, but he never said a word about it.

In high school, I stole a pair of my cousin’s black lace panties and once even rode my bike like 20 miles round trip to buy some pantyhose of my own. In college, I began buying more items and had a locked chest in which I kept entire outfits, wigs and makeup. I even started to go out en-femme when I house sat for my mother and stepfather. I met my wife while going to college and almost told her about my activities, but I felt pressure from my family to pursue her and I never told her fearing she wouldn’t want to be with me and I figured I could control it.

I tried purging a few times and thought I was done. I did a purge just before our wedding in 2002. Of course, it didn’t last and that is the short version of a long story